"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about." - Angela Swhindt
Hi everyone, I know it's been quite sometime since I put up a blog post about Christian ( or my thoughts about him ), so I decided to write a little update on him, and talk about something that's been on my mind. Firstly, Christian is doing quite well right now. He is home, and starting to gain back a little of the weight that he lost. His tumor hasn't grown since he got the intensive chemo in January, and right now he's staying stable. He is getting an oral chemo at home, but Chris and I have got some decisions to make about where we go from here. The chemo he's getting now, he's gotten through an i.v. before...it worked, but it won't work forever. It's a hard thing to make decisions about someone's life, especially when that decision can kill them, and especially when that person is your child. He can't tell us how he really feels or what he wants, we just have to decide and hope that it was the right thing to do. I never thought at twenty two I would have to be thinking about these things....it's weird the way life turns out sometimes.
But on to what's been on my mind for a while, and please don't take it the wrong way, it's not meant to upset anyone. It's just something Chris and I hear all the time from people we know, or just people who know about us. They tell us, "You're so strong, I don't know how you do it." I don't think people realize that what we do is not strength. I do consider us to be strong people for different reasons, but it's not because we are caring for our sick child, or dealing with the emotions that come with it. I think what we do is the same thing any of you out there would do for your child. We don't do it because we're super human, we do it because we have to, we do it because we love our Son. He is the strong one. At four, he has survived almost three years of cancer. His strength is what keeps me going. Christian doesn't give up, so we don't give up. For him, there isn't something else, this is what he's known his whole life. Some days aren't so good for him, or us either. We get through it though, we do what we have to do to get by. So I guess what I'm really trying to say is that, we are not special, or different from anyone else out there....we all have choices to make in life, Christian chose to rise to the occasion, and he fights everyday, so we will be there by his side, and will do whatever we can to help him, not because we're strong, but because he is, and so is our love for him.
