It's been sixteen days since you died...and it hurts me even more because you should have lived. How did this happen? How can you have the best odds in defeating cancer, and still come out with the short straw? When you were first diagnosed with cancer, we were told that you had a ninety percent chance of survival, and the tumor had a favorable histology. I really don't get it. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you are gone. I only hope that you felt no pain. I'm the saddest I've ever been in my life, and the only peace I can find is knowing that you aren't suffering anymore.
I saw you in my dream the other day...it's weird because my dream had nothing to do with you, but you appeared in my arms and gave me the biggest hug you've ever given me. I told you that I loved you and you said it back to me too, and then you were gone and I woke up. Dreams are the only place I can talk to you anymore. When I'm awake I can only remember the way you died...and how you looked. I can still feel the way your hand felt in mine... Now all I have left of you are memories, and your ashes. I'm wearing some around my neck in a sea turtle pendant so I can always have a little piece of you right next to my heart. I know this pain will never go away....I'm just going to have to learn how to live with it. I just don't know how I'm supposed to go through the rest of my life like this, though.
You were four years old, you shouldn't have died....I should be holding you in my arms right now. It's not right, it's not supposed to be like this. You were truly a Saint, Christian, different than any other child I have ever known. You were so happy all of your life, never complaining, even though you had every right to do so. There was something so special about you. I still remember, as a baby, I was so scared of letting you go, for a month I barely let anyone touch you, even your own father. I couldn't stand the idea of not having you in my arms. I literally would not set you down. You stole my heart from the minute I found out I was pregnant with you, and you will have it for the rest of my life. Please know that I love you so much, Christian Mark Bryant. My heart will ache for you every day for the rest of my life...
Rest in Peace Christian Mark Bryant 12/12/2010 - 03/30/2015
Love You Forever
But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.
- Robert Munsch
Thank you, Jason Frank, for the beautiful pictures.
Jason A. Frank
Sports Editorial and Commercial Photographer
131 High St.
Waltham, MA 02453
(330)-635-1247
